Tradeoff Central

As I watch my children's adult lives (and the lives of my friends' children) evolve, I am constantly reminded that there are often no simple answers to life's choices and that tradeoffs must be carefully thought through.

It seems like it all comes down to what you do for your source of income and what you do with your life. (I'm sure there is something here linked to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs). All the nuances of where you live, your relationship with your partner, your family, etc. get wrapped up into just those two points.

Perhaps being a bit simplistic, I summarize adulthood into the beginning, middle, and end of one's working life. Along this spectrum there are pairs of questions and a decision as to which answer is more important.

• First, what job do I want? Where do I live? Then,

• Do I grow my career (and make more money)? What type of partner/parent will/should I be? Then,

• Do I keep working and how much money do I need balanced against what do I want to do with the rest of my life?

I'm at the last bullet and made the choice to retire from IBM. I'm thrilled with my decision with different work projects and a lot more activities on the life side, too. The reason it works for me is that I no longer have ties to a job and work hours (never really 9 - 5, but still pretty typical). I now have 7 days a week, 24 hours a day to pick and choose what to do.

I absolutely get to my desk late each day. I find the time for more lunches and time away on family things. And I do my work at all hours of the day and night. It took me a while to realize that that was my norm and now that I am aware of it, it's even better! I think I have a pattern that works.

As a contrast, William Falk in the Editor's Letter of the May 6 issue of The Week wrote a about of the retirement of his father, saying: "But I usually found him sitting at the kitchen table, creating work for himself amid piles of paper—micromanaging his retirement accounts, inspecting his doctors' bills. There was often a sad, wistful air about him; he never stopped missing his job and the pride he took in it".

A good reminder. I'll continue to be vigilant and hopefully self-aware, knowing what makes (my family and) me happy.

Those of you in the beginning or middle stages of work-life, think through you choices for your definition of being happy and successful. It is up to you to find the balance to ensure that it just keeps getting better.

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Comments

[edco]

Jon
Perhaps I am simply paraphasing you, but I have tried to guide myself and my children with a slightly different Bullet #1 than you have.
My mantra has always been "Do what you LOVE to do and the money will find it's way."

You and I are both children of the 50's who's parents either knew or were reminded about the depression, and how a combination or education and hard work were the key to success.

I think the model has changed. Doctors, lawyers, accountants, and other professional careers that "we" were told were slam-dunks to success, are not nearly as rewarding as they once were due to the costs of liability/malpractice insurance, education loans, combined with somewhat meager (by comparison)re-imbursements by insurance companies for services.

So given the choice between a content attorney and a HAPPY salesman, I chose the latter. My oldest son, Anthony, did the same with a twist, and John fancies himself a "dealmaker".

So, I would suggest it's less about what job do I want nowadays and more about what makes ME excited to get up in the morning. Especially during a time of AT LEAST 10% unemployment and soft economics.

Just my 2 cents...

Thanks as always
ed

[Jon]

You clarification helps. It's about finding what job you want - - that makes you happy. Picking a job because it might make you a lot of money has a good chance of really hurting one's work-life balance. Too much risk of what we call the "rat race". Not sure what our kids would call it.

[edco]

Hey it's almost 3 months.. Do your children and I need to remind you to do an update ? Ofr did you think you get the summer off ?

Hope you're well and staying "frosty", my friend.

ed

[Jon]

My biggest personal challenge is accepting that I seem to prioritize BalancedBits lower than many of the other things I do. I am happy with my choices, but I surely have a twinge of guilt here.

Not sure what to do.

Anyone interested in guest posts on work-life? Personal stories might be just the ticket.